Here’s a thought: it’s ok to be superficial. Though I think you have to be honest about it. Sometimes this means that you’re a jerk, but sometimes it means you know what you’re looking for and what you care about and you’re not afraid to admit it.
You all may have gathered that my boyfriend and I broke up. We did that because I’m abroad for a year, and we added in a few reevaluation points throughout the year to make sure that this is still what we want. So while I’m not happy with the situation, I’m also dating other boys.
I’m dating other boys because I wanted to have a fling, to see what it’s like to go out with someone just for the kisses, for the flirty conversation, for the fact that they’re cute. Granted, it’s not as superficial as that, because I can’t help but have actual conversation, and not want to get together with someone if we have zero overlapping interests, or if they’re a jerk.
But if they’re a bad kisser, then I’m going to drop them. Or if they’re not cute by my standards. And while I’m not necessarily telling them that, I am being honest that I want something short term, a fling as it were.
Honestly, I’m not emotionally ready to date someone long term. I don’t know that I will be at any point this year — I’m hoping my boy and I get back together by our next check-in date, or at least by the end of the year. And it’s interesting to date someone with practically no emotional investment going into the situation. It makes it easier to be honest about my superficial judgements.
Because we all do them all the time anyway. What is “attraction” but a set of variables, one that often includes how the person looks?