Here I’m using the term “sick” in the sense of having a fever, cough, aching…you know, actually being ill. Just to get that out of the way.
I’ve been fairly sick over the past week and a half and am finally getting better. I had a couple conversations though, that made me realize two things. 1) Someone who hasn’t been REALLY sick in a while doesn’t actually remember how it feels. They equate staying home with “having a vacation.” 2) When I am sick I do not feel sexy, do not want to think about sexy things, and do not want to talk about sexy things.
Frankly, while sick, I don’t want there to be another person in the room aside from the one who gets me tea (and promptly leaves again). This, however, is mostly (only?) if I’m coughing or otherwise spewing germs about. Part of this feeling comes from just wanting to do absolutely nothing, and dealing with people is a Something. But the other part of this feeling comes from the incredibly guilty feeling of maybe getting someone else sick. There is no way I want to inflict on someone else what I’m feeling. (Unless they’re my arc-enemy, and in that case I don’t want them around when I feel ill anyway.) So no cuddles. No hugs. No jokes about guys thinking girls in leggings and t-shirts look super sexy and make guys want to have sex or cuddle because ew, I’m sick, don’t touch me.
Ok, sometimes you just really need a hug when you’re sick, I admit this. But a hug is waaaay different than sex, plus you still have the guilty “I don’t want to get you sick” feelings. Mostly, when I’m sick, I’d prefer someone show they care by getting me things like tea and soup. They’re like hugs where I don’t have to touch anyone else.
I think being sick falls under the “no touch” zone. Don’t touch me unless I specifically ask you to, and I won’t touch you either. I think that makes life healthier for everyone involved.
But what annoyed me the most about the sexy joke was that, while being sick, my mind was so far from thinking about sex it was on another planet. While sick, sex was gross. Sex was don’t even want to think about it. And having a joke made about girls looking sexy while sick just made me think “you don’t remember what being sick is like, do you?” Because I didn’t even care that I didn’t feel sexy. I didn’t want to feel sexy. I didn’t want to look sexy. It didn’t even feel like a compliment at that point because it was so far out of the realm of what I wanted.
Now, I’m not saying that all girls think the same way, or even that I would think the same way in all circumstances. I’m pretty sure a high fever (the one that had me staring lethargically at the wall most of the week) had a lot to contribute to my brain processes. But what I am thinking is that if someone is sick, don’t talk about them being sexy in pajamas. Talk about neutral things like the weather or anything that they don’t have to respond to if they don’t want — things that don’t take a lot of brain power. Or better yet, if you’re in the same geographic area, bring them chicken soup and don’t talk at all.