I seem to get a lot of search engine hits on this one, and I’ve been meaning to update the topic for a while. I don’t have a lot to say at the moment, likely because I’m swamped with other work, but I also dislike missing my update schedule multiple weeks in a row, which I’ve been doing lately.
So here’s my current thoughts about my sexuality.
I’m not currently comfortable labeling myself as simply bisexual, because my preference for men outweighs my preference for women to the extent that, most of the time, it feels like a giant tipping seesaw towards the men side. Sometimes I feel a lot closer to straight with a “maybe I’m interested in women?” disclaimer.
This may change, as time goes on, because sexuality can be fluid, and because maybe I’m wrong about some things just because I’ve never experienced them, and not because I can’t.
For instance, I did, a number of years ago, read a definition of pansexual that felt like it fit me better than anything else. But I never described myself as pansexual. For one, it wasn’t my top concern at the time (I was more concerned with making friends than making significant others). And for the other, I likely just let myself slide back into the “easy” category of straight because I was mostly straight so whatever.
But it’s still that “mostly straight” that’s bothering me now from identifying fully as bisexual (or pansexual). But if I split the romantic and sexual bits apart, I find a definition that I like much more.
I can be on board with calling myself a heteromantic bisexual. I think it fits what I was trying to say earlier about being heteroflexible. The “I don’t know, I would make out with a girl but I can’t picture being in a relationship with one because it just seems like a friendship” definition of why I call myself heteroflexible. So there we go: heteromantic bisexual [probably to be continued].