Heteroflexible vs Bisexual part 2

I seem to get a lot of search engine hits on this one, and I’ve been meaning to update the topic for a while.  I don’t have a lot to say at the moment, likely because I’m swamped with other work, but I also dislike missing my update schedule multiple weeks in a row, which I’ve been doing lately.

So here’s my current thoughts about my sexuality.

I’m not currently comfortable labeling myself as simply bisexual, because my preference for men outweighs my preference for women to the extent that, most of the time, it feels like a giant tipping seesaw towards the men side.  Sometimes I feel a lot closer to straight with a “maybe I’m interested in women?” disclaimer.

This may change, as time goes on, because sexuality can be fluid, and because maybe I’m wrong about some things just because I’ve never experienced them, and not because I can’t.

For instance, I did, a number of years ago, read a definition of pansexual that felt like it fit me better than anything else.  But I never described myself as pansexual.  For one, it wasn’t my top concern at the time (I was more concerned with making friends than making significant others).  And for the other, I likely just let myself slide back into the “easy” category of straight because I was mostly straight so whatever.

But it’s still that “mostly straight” that’s bothering me now from identifying fully as bisexual (or pansexual).  But if I split the romantic and sexual bits apart, I find a definition that I like much more.

I can be on board with calling myself a heteromantic bisexual.  I think it fits what I was trying to say earlier about being heteroflexible.  The “I don’t know, I would make out with a girl but I can’t picture being in a relationship with one because it just seems like a friendship” definition of why I call myself heteroflexible.  So there we go: heteromantic bisexual [probably to be continued].

(Previous posts can be found here and here.)


About mybodymystory

Looking at things differently. I write about my personal experiences with society, especially regarding what messages I, as a woman, have received over time. I write about my body, not the body the media thinks I have or wants me to have. I write about my responses to sex, relationships, and political issues. This is my story of my body. There are a lot of things I write about that I believe overlap with other women. Come check out my story and see if you agree. Feel free to disagree, just be respectful about it.
This entry was posted in During My Year Abroad, Sexuality and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to Heteroflexible vs Bisexual part 2

  1. disconcerted72 says:

    I really like this post. I think the reality for me is that I feel more “Straight” than “Gay”, and have never been in a serious relationship with a guy. So, I think the “heterosexual” label is probably more appropriate. I suppose, however, that it feels like something else I have to look into, and have just barely began to be comfortable with the “bisexual” label.

    Sexuality, being fluid, makes it a complex matter for many people. Thanks for allowing me to post, and I look forward to stopping by again. 🙂

    • Thanks for posting! I think it’s important to acknowledge if you (the general you) are not 100% straight, because it breaks stereotypes of what sexuality looks like in “most” people, which helps people feel and be more accepted and less “weird.” But at the same time I don’t think anyone should have to identify with a label that they don’t feel comfortable using.

  2. Pingback: Heteroflexible vs Bisexual | My Body, My Story

  3. BLake says:

    Glad you found something that fits you…correctly XD

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