It’s the first of December but I’m going to talk about November. Specifically, no-shave November. Or it’s opposite – full-shave November – which doesn’t sound as cool because of the lack of alliteration.
Basically, I think that every man should, at some point in his life (preferably high school) have to shave all the parts of his body that the average woman normally shaves or bleaches. He should have to do this for a significant amount of time in order to understand the amount of time and effort it takes women who have to do this the entire year. The closest I can get to this without mass hypnotism is full-shave November.
So for full-shave November, as the opposite of no-shave November for the women, I propose that men should shave their legs, their groin area,* their armpits, and their face. I’m leaving out their chest and back because the average woman doesn’t grow enough hair on her chest or back to have to bleach or shave it. But most women shave their legs for most if not all of the year, many women shave their vulva/pubic area year-round, most women shave their underarms year-round, and many women bleach or shave the hair on their face year-round.**
The biggest problem with full-shave November is that the guys who are most likely to participate are the ones are already liberal and already don’t denigrate women who refuse to shave. Because while I think those guys could learn something extremely useful from full-shave November, they have a shorter distance to reach for it. They’re already on that path. It’s the dudebros who tell women they have to shave their legs and armpits that I want to smack upside the head with shaving at least once a week for a year. It’s the guys who don’t want to give oral sex because women’s pubic hair “smells bad” or “looks gross” without realizing that their pubic hair catches just as much sweat and smell and looks just as “gross” (if you think that pubic hair is gross, which I don’t).
But again, without mass hypnotism, I’m unlikely to make those guys shave. So I’ll settle for all guys learning how much time and effort it really takes to keep up “feminine” appearances. Appearances that women are ostracized for not keeping up.
*Don’t you dare tell me that shaving your balls is more difficult than women shaving their vulva. Because it is not. Yes, I know it’s stretchy down there, and that makes it difficult to shave. But until you’ve actually comprehended the pubic areas where hair grows on women, and realized that razors do not easily fit in that location, and then realized that shaving cream makes everything more slippery, and then actually watched the positions that women have to stand in in order to shave down there, don’t you dare complain about shaving your balls. And yes, it is itchy if you’re shaving there for the first time. And yes, it does get itchy when the hair is growing back if you don’t keep it shaving. And yes, shaved skin sticks to other shaved skin in a way that might not be comfortable. Shaving pubic hair isn’t generally for your comfort.
**It may surprise you to learn that women do, actually, have hair on their faces. It’s generally finer and lighter than men’s facial hair, but it does exist. And for many women, it is dark enough to be noticeable (although still not as dark or coarse as men’s facial hair). An entire section of the pharmacy exists purely for facial bleaching and hair removal products, and an industry called electrolysis exists for more permanent removal. As someone who was teased in middle school because of the darker-than-blond hair on my face, I can tell you that it is a social construct, and not a natural one, that causes women to remove that hair. Same as shaving any other part of their body.