Looking back at myself in high school, I always knew I wasn’t straight. But I just assumed that no one else was, either. I did learn about the Kinsey Scale in 10th grade, but I just assumed that no person was entirely on one end of the scale — it wasn’t conceivable to me that anyone could be 100% straight. So, for lack of a better definition, I assumed that I was straight. I’d had crushes on boys, so I knew I liked them, and I hadn’t had crushes on girls, so I assumed that I didn’t like them enough for it to matter.
I saw the movie “But I’m a Cheerleader” a few months ago, and the very premise of it — “but I can’t be a lesbian because I’m normal, which means everyone else is like me!” struck an interesting cord with me. Because if you think that you’re not different, that means assuming that you’re normal, so you assume that everyone else thinks the same way you do.
I still think that very few people are 100% straight. Because if I could believably call myself straight up until I was 24, how many other people are walking around doing the same thing? That just because they like boys more than girls, or even because they like boys at all, they’re straight — and everyone else is just as straight as they are.
Society shows us what being straight looks like, and it makes sure you know that straight is better. And when it shows us something else, it goes directly to the other end of the spectrum. There is no in-between. Maybe it’s easier, or less threatening, to believe that there is no in-between.
But life is full of grey areas — when there are no grey areas, life gets antsy and decides to create some. Life is more likely to be grey than to be black or white, but black and white is safer to believe in.