Having been absent for this week otherwise, here’s a Friday reblog.
Despite being an allosexual alloromantic person, I agree with this completely. I’ve been doing reading about poly relationships lately, and more than just my sexual/romantic relationships, it’s made me reconsider my friendships — especially my friendships with my awesome best friends. Because not all my friends turn into “best friends” and sometimes even those don’t always stick around, though it’s usually due to long distance friendship being just as difficult as a long distance relationship, though in other ways. And it’s really too bad that our society doesn’t currently have a term for extremely strong friendships, and doesn’t consider friendships to be as “good” as romantic/sexual relationships. But I’m glad that I can see that changing, even if it’s a slow change.
I’ve seen some romantic-sexual people, both in my own personal life and online, complain about aromantic and/or asexual friends of theirs withdrawing from, diminishing, or ending the friendship(s) they share, seemingly without reason or cause. Most recently, someone was complaining in an aromantic/asexual space–a person self-identified as alloromantic allosexual–about their aro-ace friends dropping them completely after behaving in a particularly needy or clingy fashion and getting upset about the alloromantic allosexual person spending more time with a romantic/sexual partner or even another friend. I agree that expectations, boundaries, needs, and relationship status should be clearly communicated and agreed upon between any two people, and no one has the right to get upset over disappointed desires if those desires were never communicated or agreed upon with their friend. But I think the incompatibility between romantic-sexual people and aromantic asexuals, in friendship, usually goes deeper than miscommunication.
I just have to get…
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